Who's Your Audience

Have you ever been burned out? That was me about a week ago. I had nothing to talk about and wasn't interested in writing. Hence, my "On Hiatus" entry. I'm not committing to regular blog entries even now. But I do have a few updates related to my old blog entries.

Weight—I've gained five pounds. Yes, hubby of mine...I said five. On Thursday of last week, I tried on a pair of pants that I have been wearing for the past year or so and suddenly, they did not fit! I methodically went through my closet and tried on every pair of pants in that size and every single one of them was riding up my you know what. Thank goodness I had saved the next size up just in case of an emergency like this. I pulled that pair up and guess what...THEY didn't fit! I became frantic. How could I be able to squeeze my butt into a pair of pants one day then the next day, not be able to go out in public with them on my body?

I got on the scale the next morning and it showed a weight gain of one pound (I later found out the scale was wacko). Now, this both relieved me and boggled me. Even though I have been doing pilates on Monday and Thursday, yoga on Wednesday, and the treadmill on various other days, I couldn't attribute this much mass to muscle increase. Hubby was being supportive and loving as always and told me to be reasonable and think about it. The fact is, I didn't have to think about it; I had to just accept the fact that I was eating too much...plain and simple. Sure, I was eating healthy (on most occasions) but the bigger the portion, the bigger the hips. I promptly joined Weight Watchers online on Friday morning. At this writing, it is Monday afternoon and I have lost three of the five pounds. I am now back into the size I was at the beginning of last week and have ambitions to get down another 11 pounds by December 12 (that's three months from start date).

I hate to admit it but it happens to the best of us. Exercise turned into "I don't feel like working out tonight" and eating a little more here and there became an every night thing for me. I somehow feel more in control now that I'm limiting myself to 18 points a day. That's about the equivalent of 900 calories. Of course, you can increase your points if you exercise and there is a reserve of points you can add on every day but I'm determined. I felt so confident...last Thursday, I just felt sluggish and dumpy. I'll get my sexy back...and it won't take two years this time!

Pilates—Now for the good news. Remember I told you about that pilates reformer class I was taking? I am in my third beginner's session and attend the class on Monday and Thursday during lunchtime. My current instructor is a runner and pilates instructor. She has a body to die for and looks like Minnie Driver. To top it all off, she's French. Who better to inspire you than someone who seemingly has it all together. Sign ups for the next level are taking place in about a week. Over the past couple of weeks, though, I have felt like something is missing from my pilates class. Today, I asked Minnie Driver if she thought I was ready for an intermediate class. Without hesitation, she told me yes! Next week she is going to stand by me during class and correct me for form to prepare me for October when intermediate pilates begins!

After having been morbidly obese in my early 30's, this means a lot to me. I have gotten to a point physically where I never envisioned I would be and that feels empowering. Even though I am nervous about taking an intermediate class, I feel it will only strengthen me, both in mind and in body.

Fish Oil—Hubby and I have been taking fish oil supplements for right at three months now. I am still suffering from tendonitis that may involve nerve damage so I can't attest to any benefits there. My skin has always been healthy, barring the few uncontrollable breakouts. Yet, I still feel that the benefits are internal rather than external. And if word of mouth is good evidence, we actually have about three months to go before we start seeing the external evidence of our consumption. We have increased the dose, though, to match the bottle recommendations. I always start small and increase over time.

40's— I'll be turning 40 at the end of the month and boy am I going through some changes. I met an older friend of mine for tea this past Saturday and explained to her that I am going through some severe mood fluctuations. One minute I'm happy, the next minute I'm deeply depressed. I told her I was wondering if I was approaching perimenopause. She smiled and spouted off a long laundry list of symptoms...most of which I have been experiencing. So here we go, kids. I'm entering another phase of my life. Now that I understand the etiology of these fluctuations, I can handle them a bit better (I was beginning to think I was going crazy or turning into a royal b**ch!). So bring it on - hairs popping out of anyplace on my face, terrible cramps, mood swings, rage, fluctuating menses, and the like. Last night I was in the bathtub singing the Scorpions "Winds of Change." I had heard it on the radio the day before and it stuck. I think that's going to be my theme for the next few years. Okay so the lyrics don't fit—you still get it!!

I think that's about all the updates I have for now. Stay tuned for before and after pictures of my hair. I've gone dark for the fall and winter. Why not? After all, I'm making life changes. My hair as an asset should reflect that.