Who's Your Audience

Being a 40-something (okay, so I’m 39…close enough) female in small town America is problematic. I recently got married and moved from the Lexington area to a small town in southeastern Kentucky called Trapp, so called because a gentleman who makes decisions about small town names was standing in the doorway of a grocery store in the early 1900s and saw a bunch of animal traps hanging from the ceiling. Who knows where the extra P came from…that’s a whole other research project. At any rate, Trapp consists of one small grocery store that houses a grill and two gas pumps, one grammar school, and a bunch of folks who would rather watch the vultures fly overhead than vote in a Cracker Barrel. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. You move out to the country to get away from it all. And move out I did. I’ve lived in Lexington since the age of 14. I know every nook and crannie of that town…but I relished the opportunity for change. Without change, we are stagnant…and that’s the last thing I want to be! I still work in Lexington, however, as the job market in Trapp and the surrounding areas is pretty bleak unless you are a truck driver, nurse, or waitress.

Every weekday afternoon, I leave my job in Lexington and make the hour-long haul to Trapp. My husband has started carpooling with me recently so that I don’t have to be alone so much and also to save on gas. The stress of the day slowly melts away as we drive and talk. While I am driving by myself, I usually plan dinner and come up with ideas and projects that I can tackle when I get home. The problem with all of this is that I am a social creature. Having been born and raised into a family of four girls, I grew up with people all around me. Vacations were spent in the back of a Griswald station wagon fighting with my sisters. School years were spent selling Girl Scout cookies with the troop and attending slumber parties where groups of prepubescent teens (don’t they call them tweens now?) hypnotized each other and discussed the cutest boys in class. Mom always supported our creative needs as well, sending us to art classes and posting our latest masterpieces on the fridge. It was a very supportive, communal, and imaginative upbringing.

I have proliferated that same sense of community in my adult life, mostly with female friendships. My favorite friends have always been the ones who engaged in creative outlets with me…a graphic designer with whom I collaborate on a freelance venture, an equine insurance adjuster who makes amazing wreaths and Christmas decorations, an infection control specialist who has an eye for make-up, home décor, and fashion. Unfortunately, now that I’ve moved to smallville America, I lack female friends that are close to home. What’s a girl to do?

I have recently been driving my husband crazy with talk about how much it sucks to drive an hour each way just to get to work. Regarding professional jobs out in Trapp or in the neighboring town called Winchester, I have applied—really I have. Yet, the only writing jobs that I have found are located at the local paper. While I’m not averse to taking on a job with a local paper, I am adverse to the pay. I would be receiving half the income that I am receiving now. I do have my pride….and enjoy being able to buy clothes and going out to dinner! It’s not that my current job is all that bad. It’s just that it really is a part-time gig but I’m getting paid to be there 40 hours a week. That means most of my time is spent researching or looking for freelance gigs. Some of you out there probably think I’m crazy for not wanting to stick around. But the fact is that I need mental stimulation! I can only come up with so many interesting topics to research…and as far as researching my market, I probably know more about it than my director; we won’t even go there when it comes to him. There are some great girls that work there and they are what makes the day go quicker.

It’s the girls there that actually got me thinking. I’ve made most of my adult friends at work. I still keep in touch with people from pretty much every job I’ve had. There’s the owner at the equine agency that I send Christmas cards to; the girls from the doctor’s office that keep me posted on their lives and occasionally dine with me; the group of girls from the pharmaceutical marketing firm that still maintain a girly persona (they are almost like my sorority); and the nurses from the hospital that I talk to pretty much daily. These relationships have helped me grow, both professionally and personally. I would not be the superstar writer I am today without each and every one of them. So, how am I going to maintain those relationships while living in cow town? I am going to bite the bullet and continue to work in the big city of Lexington.

Working in Lexington affords me the time to get around town (during lunch anyway) and see my peeps. I also take pilates once a week (that’s soon going to be twice a week starting in August) with my coworkers. It’s great teambuilding and strength building! During lunch, I can go shopping, get my nails done, hang out with friends, run errands, buy naan bread, and call on clients! Without my Lexington job, I would simply be stuck in cow town with no social outlet at all. I did attend a step class on Saturdays there for a while in Winchester…but the gym was dusty and there’s really no way to socialize while you’re jumping around on a step. Once the class is done, everyone goes on their way. And by the time I drive all the way home, I don’t want to drive 30 minutes into Winchester to take a painting class. I’d rather throw on some shorts and get outside to my garden!

And so I've conceded that in order to live where I live and also maintain the social relationships that keep my mind healthy, I'm going to have to drive. So drive I will. Perhaps I will eventually get a car that is more fun to drive around (and of course gets good gas mileage). I should be happy that I get to spend so much time in my car. In my car, I can listen to whatever music behooves me...even if it's Linkin Park:

"I wanna heal, I wanna feel, what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held onto for so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong"

Thank God for Lunch.